There's one you in a million others

Everytime I fell in love, its a painful memory. Every feeling ends with an abrupt turn. Everything turns grey, and then white and pure, as if I stood alone in a winter lake.

I've never truly been in a relationship. I've never received anyone's love, nor yours. Its already a pain when all you can do is give and not take.

The first time I set my eye on you, I knew this is the girl that I can never let her out of my grasp.

We made friendship. I still could remember how I had those gloomy days and how I look forward to see you the next morning. You'll be there, when I needed you there. And I'll be here, when you needed me to listen here.

But I realised something was missing. You are slowly slipping away from my grasp. I am started to loosing my strength in reading your heart. I never was able anymore to make you smile. Nor relieve your cry. We part, sooner than I thought.

I thought, I did not satisfy you. I did not care how you felt. How I wasn't suited to you, like chocolate without sugar, its just bitter for you.

Nevertheless, you melt away. I really blamed myself. I cried to sleep every night thinking of you, begging for your hugs and kisses. I was unable to stop this gap from widening. And education was at stake.

I think I let go. But I'm not sure what happened. You are just not there when the sun rises, to shine all on the earth crust, you were behind another's shadow. I was never ever again to provide you the shelter from rain and shine, sadness and loneliness.

But I'm trying, I think I am not trying not hard enough. Thus far I've not been closing the gap between us. Its miles apart, but I still see you at the other edge of the cliff.

All I need is an opportunity. I will change, as hard as I can, to suit you, so that the gaps between your fingers fit mine, so that one day you would be mine. And I shall be yours.

It is in the process of the gap widening, you went through ups and downs in your life. I couldn't see clearly whether you did turn behind, but I am always, ALWAYS, looking you from this side.

How I'd wish it was me whom you text, and wishes, all the beautiful words you created. How I wish to get to put my arms around your beautiful clothes, hold you close to me, firm and secure.

Through these ups and downs, I think you will have experiences that even a tsunami wouldn't be able to withstand your stances. It is through these experiences, it made you into a more mature, better women, for any men like me to have.

I just want to let you know this, in every relationship, you will meet the wrong person. Its easy to be the champion of breaking up. However there will be one that you will find matches you in the end.

In hundreds of millions of people, there's only one that can attracts you. So its fine if that person is not me, but I hope you can shed a few tears, when I failed to grasp the gap between us each time I tries. Because I really wanted you.

Just one more chance. One opportunity I requested from you. Please.

Thank you for staying in my sight.