I have up to 1 month o prepare before my Mock exam, which is of utmost importance for my course. (We don't have any test, just a mock exam and then finally the Finals) Having been tensed these past few days, I nevertheless celebrated one of my best Christmas and New year ever. Well maybe not that fantastic of a new year, but still, a fairly happy one.
Having known already that I have tons of assignments awaiting for me, and , much catching up to the syllabus to do, I slacked during this 2 weeks break, bad move, now I'm tensed shit.
Then I start to think, there are nobody that I can tell how depressed I am. Though today is the first day of 2012, I am already this sad. I always wonder to myself, why am I so unfortunate. Many things that I don't have, and all I ever wished for were simply small maters, yet it can never be fulfilled. Something that my peers all have, I will never have. And altogether, all these things are bottled up in me, having no one to share with.
True, you might say friends do share your pain and joy, but only to a certain extent. We each have our individual's life to live. I can't expect my friends to be perfect. No one is. But having to bottle up all these feelings are having its toll on me. Life just doesn't seemed as colourful as it should be. Worst of all, without a girlfriend, I have no one to cry to when things gets too harsh.
So, all I can do is to tell myself, that, be strong, life has ups and downs. I can't be taking advantage of life when everything's is favourable and say life sucks when a mere challenge stood infront of me. I always thought to myself, the way I look now is disgraceful to my friends who worked hard to achieve what they have achieved today. WHy they can do it, but not me? But if I were to have a gf, life would change a whole lot for me.Haiz...
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